Hopeless love
by Fictionobsessed98
Summary: Harry worries about his relationship with Ste, they have a brief argument which ends in passion.


It was the usual night, Harrys friends had begged him to go out, to enjoy his youth and for once, to not worry about Ste. Even though Ste did not protest to this, Harry sensed he was not happy but there was more to it than that, he stopped questioning him on where he was going and it seemed he had lost interest all together.

Harry slumped into the chair, hands over his head in stress, he had lost himself in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed his surroundings. The club was packed with reckless teens too drunk to see how foolish they looked. Blazing music and blinding lights made him feel dizzy, his vision became hazy, adjusting his eyes he noticed his friends yelling at him to dance. Harry shook his head and gave a faint smile, he didn't want to be here, he wanted to be with Ste. He hadn't been able to get him out of his head since they'd arrived, his name circling his head, trying to look for hints as to why Ste was so distant lately. Had he done something wrong? And then panic rushed over him suddenly, maybe Ste had lost interest in him, maybe he didn't love him anymore.

It's not that they had lost their passion, only that the trust was no longer there. Ste would respond to him coldly, showing no interest to engage with him sometimes. At first Harry thought he was still recovering from drugs but he knew in his heart, although he wanted to forget about it, that Ste was still not over Harrys and James' arrangement. He wanted to know what was going on with Ste yet he couldn't bear to know. Things used to be a lot more easy in the early days of their relationship. It's not often you meet someone to spark your soul and to lift you from your loneliness but Ste had done just that. He knew Ste had wanted him, lust had taken over but Harry also knew how great they'd be together as a couple. But now he had a horrible feeling Ste was drifting away and he didn't know what to do, talking to him wasn't enough but Harry wasn't mad, he couldn't be because he didn't feel entitled to be after what he did with James.

The guilt still hung over him and he regretted how he tricked himself into believing it was no big deal when seeing how little James was phased about the whole affair as if it wasn't prostitution and not as immoral as it truly was. He still remembers that morning, he'd woken up bare and cold, feeling ashamed and a sense of having being violated and as he glanced over his phone, seeing the countless worrying texts and phone calls from Ste, these feelings intensified.

All his life he'd been kept from sinning until he'd arrived in hollyoaks, but this was by far the most immoral thing he'd done. However, he'd surprised himself by how quickly he was able to justify it and move on. Maybe that is what still bothered Ste.

He left the club to go home despite his friends agitation. Harry sighed as he approached his door. He wanted to talk to Ste but he didn't know how to explain to him that he wanted their fiery passion back or to share the deepest depth of his thoughts, and he certainly didn't want to anger him.

"You're back early" Ste said.

"uh..yeah it was getting a bit boring" Harry replied, he figured this was the opportunity to tell Ste how he felt "actually Ste there's something we need to talk about". Ste looked stunned but Harry pressed on "well you never listen to me anymore and I just want to know why"

"That's not true" Ste said bluntly but he refused to look into Harrys eyes.

Harry sighed and looked at him tiredly "we can't go on like this, and it's been awhile since we've been you know...intimate"

Silence filled the room, Ste looked at Harry almost pleadingly. He admired his boyish face and icy blue eyes staring back at him with such passion, he felt like he was being pulled into a lake of frozen emotions. He loved him but he was frustrated and he felt helpless.  
"Why don't you be honest from the start" Ste insisted.

"I try but sometimes I keep my feelings to myself because I can find no language to describe them in" Harry looked at the floor avoiding Ste's eyes "you make it hard for me to talk to you"

"I make it hard" Ste's voice began to rise "if that's the case why don't you run away to James" Ste said bitterly.

"Is that what this is about?" Harry demanded "I thought we was past all that, I... thought we were over it"

"No you're the one over it" Ste responded

"Then what's the point of us?" The words slipped off Harrys tongue. He was too empty to talk, he could feel the fury rolling off him. He was close to tears.

Ste tried to think of something reassuring to say but he couldn't. The truth was he did doubt them, not because he didn't love him wholly but because he had a habit of messing things up and there was still a part of him that couldn't let go of Harry sleeping with James. He thought of James hands all over Harry and the anger bubbled in him.

"It's my fault Harry" Ste sighed "I drove you to do what you did". Ste wanted to tell harry how much he meant to him, how much he valued him but he couldn't find words and he was never very good at explaining himself.

"Don't you see" Harry muttered "you're not responsible for what happened with James and it's not why I'm upset" he paused for a moment to gather his thoughts "I just don't think you love me anymore"

Harry began to cry, this pained Ste, he reached out to embrace him but Harry shuddered and it killed Ste to see him like this.

As Harry turned to leave the room, Ste stumbled towards him, grabbing his hand and pulling him close, he wrapped his arms around Harrys waist and crashed their lips together.

Harry gasped and Ste stuck his tongue in, deepening their kiss. Ste felt butterflies and he was sure Harry felt it too. Soon what was a sweet kiss turned into intense passion.

"I need you now" Ste said hungrily, pushing him against the wall and kissing his neck. He pulled Harrys top off roughly and began kissing and caressing him all over, Harry felt breathless as Ste teased him making him aroused.

"Ah..yes" harry said biting back a moan, throwing his head against the wall "Let's go upstairs" he breathed.

Harry and Ste collapsed on the bed together naked, Harry hooked his leg around Ste's waist to close the gap between them and feel his erection. Ste bit his tender lips and Harry whimpered "please...take me now!" He begged.

Mixes of painful desire and pleasure lasted all night, Harry dug his nails into Ste's back moaning "ffaaster" he cried out. Mind blowing ecstasy came over them as Ste thrust in him. Pressing foreheads together, Ste looked into Harrys crystal blue eyes and watching him moan was pushing him over the edge.

"hharder" Harry moaned "oh god...don't stop" he wanted this pleasure to last forever and so did Ste. As their climax approached, pure electricity shot through their bodies. "Ahh" Ste screamed. He looked down at harry, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead, oh how beautiful and helpless he looked, Ste thought.

Ste collapsed on him breathless, Harry tensed and pleaded as Ste pulled out of him and threw away the condom. Ste tried to catch his breath as he lay connected to Harry. They fell asleep in dizziness and exhaustion. An hour passed, maybe more, Ste looked at Harry thoughtfully and it seemed all time had stopped, no one could come between them, just them, forever.

Ste kissed harry slowly and tenderly, Harry felt drunk on love "promise me we'll always stay like this" Harry whispered.

"I love you always" Ste whispered softly, letting his warm breath brush against Harrys ear and neck, as he lay there arms wrapped around him, both connected and content.


End file.
